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Microsoft: “Just Enough Mobility” is what we aim for with Carrier Exclusives!!


With all sort of quotes and statements flying in the air from CEOs, Fans about the strategy of Microsoft that makes Lumia 950 and Lumia 950 XL exclusive to AT&T in US, we reached to one of the Microsoft’ top marketing executive Mr. Chuck Norris to understand their side of the story.

After all it can make you pull your hair (and you can loose lots of them if you think too much about it, like Gabe Aul), when you see Windows Phone market share stuck at 3.5% and then you see carrier exclusivity as the strategy.

NPU Reporter: So, Mr Noriss Why the carrier exclusive strategy, when your market share is just…

Mr. Norris: See, people don’t get it but we have all along been striving to keep our markets share below 5% and 3.5% is a big achievement for us

NPU Reporter (puzzled): Keeping it below 5%, can you explain??

Mr. Norris: This is our internal strategy to maintain “Just Enough Mobility” (below 5%) and you see many who didn’t follow this goal were fired by Microsoft. So, we have chosen carrier exclusivity as core strategy to stop our market share going beyond 5%.

NPU Reporter: We still didn’t understand why you won’t want market share to grow.

Mr. Norris: See, with “Just Enough Mobility” we are taking the world back to our golden “Laptop days”. Did you see our “Surface Laptop”, we just launched.

Surface Laptop

NPU Reporter: So, how do you respond to T-Mobile CEO John Legere’s Tweet,

“To be clear: We did not turn down the new Windows devices. MSFT gave to AT&T. If wakes up, we’ll talk about carrying”

Mr. Norris: This fellow was hell bent on putting us into trouble and tried to take our market share up. Thanks to our team we just got rid of his network. You see they were selling lots of our devices and now they have none.

NPU Reporter: So what are your future plans for US when it comes to smartphones??

Mr. Norris: Come what may we will keep our market share below 3.5% in US and trust us it is such a tough job (wiping his sweat). So much meticulous planning goes into this thing.

Still pulling our hair we thanked Mr. Chuck Noriss for his side of story!!

PS: A poor attempt at Satire, but the current Lumia 950 & Luma 950 XL carrier exclusivity situation can’t be explained in any other genre.

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